Feeling a little broken

Confession time.

This past few months I have been very down about life. As I have seen myself falling into a pattern of work and stress I have found less time for projects, friends and myself.

I work at a restaurant, and this means that I often run into upset costumers HUGE orders that make no sense what so ever  and it also leaves me feeling a little run down. Don't get me wrong I love my job, I have wonderful bosses who are very encouraging and a delight to work for.. I get along with my co workers and I have regulars who I very much love to see..but sometimes I just feel worn down.

There are also times where I just feel unwanted. In high school I had a lot of people constantly around me. I was much more confident about myself and was never afraid to thrust friendship on someone. Maybe that was my downfall because now, 2 years into college I am shy. Im afraid of sounding strange to people. I have no idea where this shyness came from. Maybe it came out of being a christian and literally having no one who believes the same around me, maybe because more often than not people around me invite each other to do things, and are willing to go when I invite them to things but I am never invited. I get it people probably don't even notice that they are doing it, but hey it hurts to feel included.

I know what you are thinking... Why am I reading this girl's sob story?
Well just bare with me..

Ive also been struggling with weight gain. Its not much but it is enough to force me into the next size up in pants which is hard for any girl. So in all this i have been left feeling unattractive.


so where is the silver lining.

I really don't know and I wish I did, I think we all go through seasons of just feeling blue. Its not like clinical depression (which I think in some cases is a real thing and a big deal) but for me its just been a blue period.

So here are the steps I am taking to feel happy and energized
1. I will try to spend more time with Jesus. In the busy scheme of things Jesus is the one that I neglect most. I let reading my bible and praying become an act of religion. And i honestly think that is when I am most vulnerable.
2. I will try to be a more loving person. I tend to get angry very easy, I complain a lot and I can be controlling. In that I will do my best to serve people by talking to them, giving gifts and just doing my best to love them in general.
3. I will try to be a more graceful girlfriend. I tend to lose patience with my boyfriend. What I have to remember is that I am not perfect so why in the world should I ever expect him to be perfect.
4.I will try to be a more loving friend.
5. No more facebook. Facebook has become an unhealthy addiction for me...and in all reality it really is going out of style. .....and regardless of this post being very personal we all know (we being myself and like the 2 people that will ever see this blog) I see hurtful comments and things that I have just become numb to.





So with that I hope I did not depress anyone. I just needed to get stuff off my chest. I need encouragement.



thanks
XoXo
Nica